Seventy Heretics
by
Anonymous

Sung to the tune of
"Seventy-six Trombones"

Seventy heretics led the Conference,
With a hundred false doc-ter-ines close at hand.
They were followed by rows and rows
Of mindless bozos,
Applauding every new grandstand.

Seventy heretics preached apostasy,
With a hundred false doc-ter-ines right behind.
There were more than a thousand creeds
Springing up like weeds,
There were bores of every shape and kind.

There were feminists and pseudo-intellectuals,
Thundering, blundering all along the way.
Atheists dissenting there like big buffoons,
Each buffoon having his big fat say.

There were Anti-Mormons working at their "ministry,"
Thundering, blundering louder than before.
Demagogues with bulging eyes,
Shrieking as they'd improvise
A speech that would make us start to snore!

Seventy heretics fooled the media,
As their hundred false doc-ter-ines blazed away.
To the chanting of "Free Our Speech!"
The Apostates start to screech,
And you'll hear them screeching still today.