A Writer for Dialogue
by
Anonymous

Sung to the tune of
"C'est moi" from Camelot

Dialogue!  Dialogue!
From west Salt Lake I hear you call!
Dialogue!  Dialogue!
To you alone I'll give my all!

I know it's my soul
That you expect of me,
And all that, and more,
You shall see.

A writer for Dialogue must be invincible;
Succeed where a less fantastic mind would fail.
Disbelieve what our scripture shows;
And unceasingly oppose
All abuse from the hands of patriarchal males.

A writer for Dialogue must be unstoppable;
All calls to repent unfailingly ignore.
But where in the Church,
Is there in the Church,
Such a monumental bore?

C'est moi, c'est moi, I'm forced to admit,
Though others think its a lie.
The mortal who these marvels can do,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.

I've never lost a single debate,
I'm simply the best by far.
When minds are matched,
There's only one fate,
One word, and au revoir!

C'est moi, 'tis I,
Dissenters will choose
To fight their battles in print.
So here am I,
With writings untold,
Amazingly bright,
Remarkably bold,
A writer for Dialogue.
C'est moi!

A writer for Dialogue must be remarkable;
Do more than a less fantastic mind could do.
Write a thesis in record time,
That Church doctrine will undermine,
While dismissing a major miracle or two.

A writer for Dialogue's an intellectual,
The lies of Apologists he must unmask.
But where in the Church,
Is there in the Church,
An ego to match this task?

C'est moi, c'est moi, I'm forced to admit,
'Tis I, I humbly reply.
The leader for the new Latter-days,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.

Though I dismiss what I once believed,
Dont call it apostasy.
The Mormon Church, I never will leave,
They must convert to me!

C'est moi, 'tis I,
The Media's joy;
The master of the sound bite.
My rhetoric
Soars to a new height --
The bane of the Church,
Dissenter's delight --
A writer for Dialogue!
C'est moi!